“I’ve remained close to my in-laws, even though their daughter ran off and left me with three children to raise alone. I am now remarrying. Should I send a wedding invitation to my ex-in-laws to the wedding?”

Ex-in-laws are rarely invited to a second marriage if the first marriage ended in divorce, especially if it was a messy one. One of the reasons one uses good ex-etiquette, aside from a desire to do what is best for the kids, is to eliminate the possibility of gossip. Most attending the wedding will know the particulars of why the previous marriage broke up, even if the reason that was given was merely “She ran off with that sailor in Hawaii.” No matter how close her parents are with her ex, it is unlikely that they will want to go to gathering where people know full well that their child behaved badly.

“I was married for nine years to a wonderful man who gave me nothing but happiness. Sadly, he was killed in a plane crash five years ago. Presently I am in a great relationship, and we plan to marry next year. I am very close to my ex-in-laws, even closer than I am to my own parents, and I know they will share in my joy of finding someone else with whom to share my future. Is is appropriate to send them a wedding invitation?”

Yes, in a case like this, former in-laws may be invited. This is especially true if you and your first husband had children together. This may be difficult for your new partner to understand until he really considers the fact that your in-laws are his new bonus children’s grandparents. If you decide to send the ex-in-laws a wedding invitation, you may want to honour them by seating them in the third row on the bride’s side at the ceremony. Or if you want to invite them but not call special attention to them being there, simply seat them as regular guests.